Good Intentions

The road is paved with them.

Every day I wake up fresh and renewed and with the best intentions of having a good mom day. Ya know, the day that consists of paying close and careful attention to my children, being patient and loving even in discipline, fixing lovely meals that are healthy and delicious, educating them with enthusiasm and creativeness, cleaning and decluttering the house so that it looks and feels wonderful so that when Mark comes home (to an unbelievable dinner) he will be so happy and helpful and we'll just have a swell evening.

Ya know, those kinds of days.

As I write it all out I realize how ridiculous it sounds. How unrealistic it is. And honestly I don't expect perfection (whatever that might be) but I do expect to try and to do better than I did yesterday. But it just feels like life takes over and I go downhill.

For example, I get a call, a text, an email. (not that there's anything wrong with that or with the people who do that - but I let it distract me from what I'm doing at that moment). It derails me. It derails my kids. Then they go off doing whatever they want while I answer my call/text/email and it's sooooo hard to get back on track!

One thing leads to another and then I feel like I'm drowning in bad-momminess (I don't care if that isn't a word, it's how it feels).

I look around the house and the kids have taken over. How did that happen? Wasn't I just watching them 10 minutes ago? And how did it get to be past naptime? And why do I have to fight harder to get them down?

I look around and see more laundry to fold and more stinking pet hair than I ever thought possible. {By the way, I swear I clean up enough pet hair every day to cover a chihuahua. Too bad locks of love doesn't take pet hair and make wigs for poor hairless chihuahuas. I'd be their biggest donor!}

The toys are spilling over the toy box. The sink is full of [clean] dishes that need to be put away. A giant Dora tent is set up in the living/school room. The laundry room had winter clothes throw up in there (thanks to a quick trip outside which did not last nearly as long as I'd have liked). The school table is overflowing with text books and papers [thankfully school has been accomplished for the day]. A grocery list must be written. Clothes must be folded (once I get the pet hair off the couch...). The floor really must be vacuumed and swept because heaven help us if we drop anything on it -- it will be covered in hair!!

And then I blog about it. Like that really helps me catch up...

*sigh*

I really tried today. Ah well. Good intentions. Thankful for do-overs.

Our Pets

for the next 2-4 weeks.

ANTS.

Thanks to our homeschooling curriculum, 2 weeks ago we became the proud owner of an ant farm. We ordered them when we got home from our Christmas vacation but sadly the ants were left in the mailbox overnight (in January) and they froze to death. :( So sad.

So we tried again and were successful.
They come in a little tube. This time we saved them before spending a night outside and set up their new home.One side is a fake hill and the other is filled with sand like material. The idea is to watch them build tunnels. Very cool. We start them off with the big tunnel down the middle.We gave them some tiny little carrot pieces and they went to town! Or at least they went to work building one...I think this picture was taken after only a days work.
We find ourselves looking for new activity every morning. It's kind of amazing how long you can spend watching ants...And after a week or so

VOILA!Don't ask me what happens when they dig all the tunnels they want or what we do with them when they die. I'm not sure if it's a water burial or a good ole fashioned toss em outside burial. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Till then, we enjoy watching the Harvester Ants do their thing!

Short Lists

This weekend:

we went to Walmart so that Kale could spend some of his birthday money on...you'll never guess...Legos!

we watched the movie Rio (not a movie I'd ever see again)

I worked

I made two loaves of the most delicious banana bread ever

Mark and I went to an adoption fundraiser dinner while the kids hung with friends and babysitters (awesome)

Mark spoke at the Men's breakfast

we sorted through all of the kids' clothes (a job I loathe!)

went to church where Mark preached probably the best sermon I've ever heard him preach (and I've heard a lot)

I finished crocheting a blanket for a friend

And today:

we did school (all of us including Jack)

the kids built a giant fort out of couch cushions, blankets and pillows and then made me crawl through a tiny little hole that my post-baby hips barely fit through to see the inside of the fort

we registered Jack for a class at the children's museum

finished off the second loaf of the most delicious banana bread ever

started to plan out an office/school/living/playing space -- IKEA here I come again!

And that's about all. Later on I'll introduce you to our newest pets (at least for the next 2-4 weeks)

A Powerful Word

(all images from Google)

The other day I was asked by a friend

What is hope?

I thought about it for a while and this is the answer I gave her. I hope (hehe) that it sheds some light for someone on this very powerful 4-letter word.

The definition of HOPE is to expect with confidence.

HOPE is powerful. I watched a movie a while ago about WW2. A village of Jewish people were being held prisoner by Nazi’s. They had no idea what was going on outside of their prison and they began to lose hope that the war would ever end. People were killing themselves, giving up on living because they had nothing to live for in their existence as they saw it. One day a guy overheard something on the radio about the allied forces coming soon. He shared it with the people and everything changed. They realized they could endure this hardship because a better life was coming. Soon. Sometime. They didn’t know the exact timeline but they had HOPE that it was coming. Their circumstances didn't change but their perspective did. They had HOPE.

Interesting that when I googled hope, pictures of Obama came up. We can be let down when we hope in people (any politician, our friends, spouse etc) or hope in circumstances (economy, jobs, situations etc). There is only one HOPE that is perfect and will never let us down.

Jesus is our HOPE. He conquered death so that we may have HOPE eternal. At the end of every scenario, no matter how bad, Jesus is there. He never leaves us. In Him there is no death! No end. That’s HOPE. That no matter the circumstances in my life and how they may change, He is unchangeable, unmovable and always faithful.

HOPE is saying that tomorrow can be better than today and next week can be better than this week. HOPE is saying God’s plan for me is something I can trust in and even if it doesn’t make sense now, His promises are true and He will never leave me and He wants the best for me. No. Matter. What. Life doesn’t always make sense. We are never promised that it would. But knowing Jesus gives us HOPE in the future. He tells us that someday there will be no more sin, no more tears, no more pain. It’s worth waiting for and enduring the hardships now because in the end it WILL be good. No matter how long we wait.

I think we all battle with hopelessness. We don't think that our situation will ever change. We lose HOPE. That's why we must remember the promises of God. They bring us HOPE again. They help us to look to the future (next week, next month, next year, eternity).

We can expect with confidence that Jesus is now taking care, and always will take care, of us and that all things work together for good for those whose HOPE is in the Lord.

Tweens

Our anniversary was Sunday. It was our 12th. We're tweens :) Next year we will enter our teenage years of marriage. I wonder if we'll get attitudes...JK.

We haven't really been good at doing special things on our anniversary. I think it's because Kale's birthday is 2 days before and Kate's is 2 weeks after so it gets kinda smushed in between and forgotten. But not this year!

For some crazy reason, in the midst of our crazy life, we decided to make this a priority and go out. And I'm pretty sure this was the top anniversary date of all time! (although our 1st anniversary was pretty sweet since our youth group had gotten us ski tickets and a stay up at a hotel near Purgatory...that one was quite awesome too).

We had been given a gift certificate toby some wonderful people in the church a couple months ago so we decided to get the kids a babysitter and go there. It would've been a normal, wonderful date except that Mark preached yesterday about marriage and announced to the church that our anniversary was that day. After service a friend of Mark's (who also happens to be the chef at Ken & Sue's) came up and asked Mark if we were going out. Mark laughed and said that we were actually planning on coming to his restaurant. They were joking about having a delicious meal with chocolate!

That afternoon Mark got a text from Curtis (chef friend) that he'd taken care of our reservations and we were set to come in at 5:30. Mark tried to tell him not to worry about but Curtis insisted.

So we show up and the host, once he found out who we were, wished us a happy anniversary and took us to our table. He was super friendly and really happy to see us. Then our waitress came over to our table and she was pretty much the best waitress we'd ever had! She went on and on about how excited she was that we were there and how excited Curtis was that we were there. It was so sweet. She said that Curtis was going to take care of us.

Mark went back to say hi to him and thank him for the great table and Curtis said he was going to send us out some appetizers. He asked if we were adventurous and if there was anything we wouldn't eat. There isn't much we won't try (at least once). So Curtis sent out mussels!Let me just say that we never would've ordered this on our own but they were amazing! The sauce was incredible and Mark and I laughed because we actually love them :) Sadly we are total mussel novices because it wasn't until they were almost gone that we discovered the little forks that you're supposed to eat them with. We just kept digging them out with our giant forks!

He also sent out a plate of delicious chicken in a sweet peanut sauce. YUM!

We ordered our entrees and ate a bit but then forced ourselves to stop because we knew dessert was coming. And of course that was amazing as well.

By the way, we had a couple waiters and the manager come over and wish us a happy anniversary. Apparently Curtis had made a big deal about us coming there for dinner and wanting it to be special so they all did what they could to make it amazing and it really was.

So here's the dessert. Molten Lava Cake!Melted chocolate oozes out of it when you cut into it. *sigh* Heaven!

They took our picture and gave us a card to remember the night.It was so special. We had a blast just talking and laughing and being amazed at their kindness and service. We were so blessed!So our normal, wonderful date turned in to an extraordinary, special gift!

And then he was 8

Friday was Kale's 8th birthday. I completely ran out of time this weekend to blog about it so here is my Monday morning update before we start school (yes he has school today - his teacher gave him his birthday week off...)

He woke up to his family singing a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday, opened a few presents - Legos and a book to keep all of his art - then put Legos together with dad while I ran errands. When I got home we all went to lunch together. Kale requested ice cream so we headed to Dairy Queen.

He had a few gifts and cards (with $) in the mail. Baseball stuff from the CoopersAdventures in Odyssey from Chad and AlishaIron Man fist and special crayons from Aunt Kelly and almost Uncle CarsonDinner was corn dogs...his request again.
Silly little brotherSilly little sisterWe had small group Friday night so the kid party was Saturday morning. He had invited 4 friends but only 2 were able to come. It turned out to be just fine and we had a blast. We took the kids to the Rec Center to go swimming and then to Burger King for lunch and presents.

Jack, Anna, Kate, Kale and TobyAnna gave Kale a signed painting of a whale shark that she had painted. It's really cool!And he is always thrilled with Legos (thanks Toby!)I think overall he was pleased with his birthday weekend.

I'm a bit amazed that he's 8. He is now not required to ride in a booster seat. A huge, wonderful change for all of us! He's totally not a little kid anymore. He's very independent, very much a thinker, loves to play Legos (alone), will still snuggle occasionally, is definitely the oldest child (meaning he's king of the castle or so he thinks...), funny, smart, learning to joke around with us, creative, sweet when he wants to be and a leader. He almost reaches Mark's shoulder which seems impossible for me to comprehend. He's transforming right before our eyes! He's lost all of his front baby teeth and that really changes his appearance.

I miss my little Bubba but I sure love and adore the 8 year old one. It reminds me that the next 10 years will go by way too fast.
I love you Kale! Happy Birthday my sweet boy!

Things I Love

I love that God loves me patiently and kindly. He is not envious or boastful or proud. He does not dishonor me. He is not in this relationship for Himself. He is not easily angered and He does not hold my past failures against me. He rejoices in the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. He NEVER fails me.

I have a long way to go to love others this way but I'm gonna keep trying.

I love Mark.

I love Kale.

I love Kate.

I love Jack.

I love my extended family. Parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephew, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents...

I am rich. I am blessed.

And I am thankful.

3rd Annual Daddy Daughter Dance

This week was work, book club, school, dinner with friends, Super Bowl, decorating for the dance and then the dance. Today I have a baby shower to go to and tomorrow another meeting before we start another crazy week! That's why I'm at once a week blogging!

But I had to carve out some time to put up these pictures. Kate has been counting down the days to the DDD. She has to been each year since our church starting doing it and now it's like Christmas and birthdays. Anticipation is just as good as the actual event.

1st year2nd yearthis yearThey matched in yellowand cowboy/girl bootsThey went and got dinner at Sonic and then went to an overlook of Durango to eat. They have food at the dance but Mark says that Kate is so busy dancing she doesn't like to stop and eat. So if he's gonna get food they have to eat before. She was pretty impressed with their view.

I have to take a second and brag on our church. The vision these people have is so beyond what you would expect from a small town church. They think go big or go home. For real! If they put me in charge of decorations (not my gifting at all) there would be streamers and balloons. I didn't even have centerpieces at my wedding!

But the teams who worked on this dance went all out. The theme was Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice and they decked out the church in a Candyland theme. It. Was. Amazing!

Here is the entrance to the sanctuaryThe life-sized ice cream castle with gumdrops! This took up our entire stage.Peppermint Forest - the picture doesn't do it justice. The food table with giant piece of candy hanging from the wallSome of the decorations that were on the tablesI didn't have any pictures of the Lollipop forest but I believe they had professional pictures taken there so I'll post those when we get them back. They also had Lady Licorice's castle. And paths around the sanctuary that were all different colors just like the game board. They had huge pieces of candy hanging from the ceiling and balloon clouds. Like I said, AMAZING!

The incredibly talented cast! (I believe they are missing one - Princess Lolli)
King Kandy, Lady Licorice, Gramma Nut, Queen Frostine and Mr Mint
They signed autographs, led dances and helped make it an amazing night for all the little girls.
Kate with her friend Madison and Madi's mom - Lady Licorice

Kate with Mr Mint

These are the Kandy Kids.
They were helpers dressed as the game pieces. So cute!

King Kandy and Mr Mint
Two awesome men who don't have daughters but love being a part of making this a special night for other dads. They are very special, wonderful people.

Kate went to bed late with a huge smile on her face. She was grinning and excited all day yesterday and today is no different. I am seriously so blessed that our church does this. What a special way to get dads involved with their daughters and treat them like princesses! Mark said that Kate was smiling and hugging him all night long and she kept saying over and over "daddy I love you!" Melts my heart!

Stewardship

The other day I took the kids to City Market (hated it, won't be doing it again anytime soon...). Before we left home, Kale ran to his banana bank and took out $2.00 in quarters. He put them in his pocket and said he was going to buy cars with it. Money burns some serious holes in Kale's pockets. Just the thought of being able to buy something or go to a store with money in his hot little hands sends Kale into Hot Wheel heaven. Sadly he will buy a car, think it's the coolest thing ever, and then by the time we get home {from the store} he won't know where it is and will most likely never play with it again. It will go into our giant bin of Hot Wheels and other assorted cars and be kinda of played with but not really appreciated and most likely forgotten. Yuck.

And that's what happened. He found a bin of cars {stinkin marketers in City Market...}, pulled out 2 and carried them around the store. He gave me money for them, opened their packages in the car and when dad came home that night I told Kale to show him what he had gotten at CM and he couldn't remember where they were. One was left in the car....

It frustrated me. He gets an allowance and instead of saving it up, spending it on something meaningful and lasting, he blows it on $1 cars that don't matter to him and he doesn't play with! How do I stop this madness? It's Mark's and my money that we give to him and I'd like to wring his neck when I see him spend it on meaningless stuff. I know there are better things out there to save up and spend his money on. But I don't know how to teach him that since it's his money {even though we gave it to him and it's our hard earned money...}

I was stewing over this fact when I got hit on the head by God.

***insert quick back story***
I finished the book 7 this past week and much of it was on this very thing. What am I doing with what I have been given? I can't and won't go into too much with 7. There's a lot that I'm processing. A lot that's been revealed. A lot that can sound judgmental if I share it without knowing what God is going to do with it in me. So I will wait. But one of the things the author touched on was money and possessions and what am I doing with them.
***back to Kale and the cars***

So I got hit on the head and God showed me how Mark and I are given an "allowance" every two weeks. Mark works diligently and well for this salary but in the end, God is providing for us. Kale does his chores but lets face it...he's either working too hard for the money we're giving him or not working enough...I'm sure at any given moment Mark and I fall into that same category.

With this "allowance" we buy things we need, buy things we don't need but really want, buy "Hot Wheels" that make us feel good for the moment but then are quickly forgotten, and give some of it away to charities, missionaries and our church.

Truthfully I've been justifying my money spending by reminding God {as if He needs reminding} that we give to our church and we give to missions and we give to those in need. And God reminded be {because unlike God, I need constant reminding} that Kale also has money set aside for such things and the issue I was having was with the money that has been set aside for "spending".

The money I have set aside in my bank account for "spending", what am I spending it on?

Am I giving my money to worthless things? To organizations who don't treat people right, value human life, care about my life? Am I throwing it away? Am I being a good steward {stewardship means the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care}?

God has provided in our finances, in our provisions (clothes, food, housing, job etc...), in creation (yes I'm talking about the earth), in time. Am I carefully and responsibly managing what He has entrusted to my care?

Ouch.

No. Certainly not all of it.

So the next step is baby steps to see how I can not buy anymore Hot Wheels and instead use what God has given me for eternal things. Things with value and meaning that moth and rust will not destroy. Eternal treasures.

People.

20 Things I know

1. This week was unusually tough
2. This is the new Lite Brite (a Christmas present Kale got this year). I totally had a Lite Brite growing up.
3. Snow is fun to play in every once in a while
4. Revelation from God is sometimes tough and at the same time freeing (much more on that in a later post)
   
5. Shopping at City Market - while they by far, have the best produce - is horrendous with my three small children and I do not think that I will be driving a car cart through their ridiculously small aisles, dropping yogurt (and having it explode over and aisle and having to find a nice young man [look at me calling a twenty something guy a nice young man...] to come clean up after me) and begging my kids to please stop singing at the top of their lungs anytime soon. Done and done.
6. Learning how to coupon and save money is overwhelming.
7. Balancing my check book is overwhelming.
8. In my last post I said there were 5 fish and 2 loaves and it's actually 5 loaves and 2 fish. Awesome.
9. This month is already overbooked and I don't like it. Somehow I have to plan a party for my almost 8 year old and do it stat!
10. We are having dinner tomorrow with our district superintendent.
11. I don't think that I fully understand the love of God and what that means for me and my life.
12. Waking up 45 minutes after you fell asleep to a screaming 3 yr old who can't open the door to let himself out of his room to go pee is not a fun way to wake up. Heart be still.
13. Trying to get my husband to read a book that has blown my mind is challenging. (by the way - I highly recommend 7 by Jen Hatmaker)
14. Fasting for one day from facebook, blogs, words with friends etc. was awesome, hard, wonderful and convicting. Hard to admit addictions...
15. My dog sheds a lot and I've got to get better at brushing him daily!
16. In the next 3 months while I am also working we have: 3 birthdays (Kale, Kate and Mark), an anniversary (our 12th), the Daddy Daughter Dance, a baby shower, a women's breakfast, my niece Lilah's 1st birthday, 3 book clubs, lunch with friends, a few early morning coffees with friends, dinner with friends, small group, a fundraiser banquet, a parenting conference, life and school. Whew! One day at a time people.
17. I need to purge my house.
18. I need to purge my clothes.
19. It's been too long since I've spoken with my family.
20. Fun on Friday is basically about shoveling and playing in the snow, drinking hot chocolate, blogging, playing games and being family. I need a break from swimming!