Hello?

Hello.  This is me.  Jill.  Slinking back to my blog that I abandoned 7 months ago.  I didn't set out to abandon it.  It just sort of happened.  Life happened and I stopped blogging about the life that was all consuming.  I have some regrets for stopping and I have some fears about starting again.  For the 3 of you that read this please accept my apologies for being MIA.  My goal is to start writing regularly again.  Part of my reason for this, besides wanting to let my parents know what's happening down here in D-town, is that I joined a writers group a couple months ago and I need to practice writing.  It's something that I think I really enjoy doing but when you haven't done it in forever, you definitely get out of practice.  Like riding a bike.  So I'm getting back on the bike and taking a ride and praying that I can stay on, improve and maybe even say something meaningful!

So let me start with filling you in (briefly!) on the past 7 months.  Since June I have had another lasik surgery to correct my over-corrected right eye (which worked wonderfully and I love being able to see!!), hired new staff, had a birthday and went camping with my love, started all the kids in extra-curricular activities (will share more on that in a moment), went to our denomination's conference in Keystone, Co., stayed an extra few days for vacation with the Palmer side, spoke at our women's retreat about women's identities, started a life group for young adults, went to Denver for a fundraising dinner, did premarital counseling with a couple, went to Golden/Boulder for Thanksgiving, had a crazy 3 weeks of December doing kids programs, women's programs and special services, had our youth pastor step down, hired another one, went back up to Golden/Denver for Christmas and New Years, came back and started a 21 day Daniel fast (only fruits/veggies/beans/nuts), got the flu, took care of Jack who had something nasty and finally got back into school just this past week.  Wow! 

That's not everything of course, but it's a quick overview.

All 3 kids have started extra curricular stuff.  Kale and Jack did Jujitsu for a couple months.  Kale loved it and is still doing it twice a week, Jack was great at it but was bored so we moved him to gymnastics which, so far, he loves.  He's also great at that.  Kate has been doing gymnastics since September and is really excelling and moving through the levels.  Thanks to me, however, she missed this round of classes because I signed her up too late.  Ouch!  She's taking it really well though thankfully!

We spent several weeks doing Occupational Therapy for Kate again.  She was struggling with her SPD and we felt like we needed some extra help.  It was a real blessing and she loved the therapist.  Unfortunately our insurance doesn't cover it so we had to cut it short.  But we got a lot out of it before we had to be done.  

Mark is really thriving in his role as lead pastor.  There are many parts to it that are a struggle for both of us, but God has gracefully surrounded us with amazing people to encourage, support and love us even in our imperfectness.  God is refining us in this role and pouring out tons of vision and hope into Mark for this next season in our church.  New classes.  New beginnings.  New staff.  Everything is new to us! haha!

School, for us, is finally back in session after taking almost a month off for vacation and illness!  All the kids are doing well and even though they don't always enjoy it, they get it done and are able to spend much of the day playing and doing things they love.  I still love to homeschool.  Not every single day but overall I see it as the gift that it is to me and my kids.  

My goals for this year are to learn how to rest and rest well.  
Take time for myself and take care of myself. 
Learn how to do things that I love to do (and frankly discover what that even is!).  
Write more.  
Listen more.  
Read through the Bible.  
Be present.
Print my old blog posts.
Maybe change up how I do this blog.
Upload a couple beautiful family photos that were taken of us this year...stinking blogspot!

Like I said at the beginning of this, I have joined a Christian women's writers group at the encouragement of my husband and another friend. This, by far, is the scariest thing I've done - which is surprising to me since speaking at our women's retreat this past October was nerve-wracking.  But calling myself a writer, actually writing, thinking that I may say something that people may actually want to read in the sea of great writers...terrifying!  But I'm wanting to step out, scare myself a bit, explore this path that God has put me on and see where it goes.  Blogging is going to be a big part of this.  Blogging here as well as my other blog (link in upper right of the page).  So here I go!

Sneaking back onto this page...hoping people will join with me again on this journey of motherhood, marriage and ministry :)

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I hope I have this figured out. All photos taken by one of our favorite photographers (we have a few!) Carol Cardwell. 

Our awesome staff. We have such fun with them! 

Reclaiming our Voice

 This past week we went to Phoenix, Arizona with our staff and spouses (almost all of them) for our international Foursquare (our denomination) convention.  It was wonderful! 

It's been many years since we've been able to reconnect with other pastors in our denomination and it was refreshing to see people and to hear what God is doing all over the country and all over the world through Foursquare.

I won't get into all that we learned while there but today at church each member of the staff got a few minutes to share what God had stirred up in our hearts and challenged us.  The theme was reclaiming our voice.  Going back to where we started, not to start over, but remember the assignment - the specific voice that God gave the Foursquare church - and to go forth from there.  Basically recalculate the GPS and get on the road again.  Every member of staff was blessed and refreshed.  It wasn't at all a relaxing trip but it was refreshing and encouraging.

We were able to take our kids with us which was wonderful and challenging all at the same time.  They kept up with the same hectic schedule that we did and were troopers.  They dealt with Post-Traumatic-Conference-Disorder once we got home however....meltdowns abounded!  But they were amazing while we were there!  A few episodes of over-tiredness and even coughing (thanks to the prescribed burns they were doing outside the city) but overall they were awesome.  They had a kids conference and those people were huge blessings to all the pastors there.  The kids wanted to go each time and had smiles when they left.  Incredible if you ask me!

I was quite busy and forgot to take many pictures but here are a few:

Our first night there we ate at TGIFridays at the Diamondbacks baseball stadium.  The name of the stadium escapes me now but we loved our view!

 While we were there we got to see our dear friends, Adam and Kristin Bleger.  They were once upon a time youth pastors at the church and have since moved to the hottest place in the USA (um it was 109* while we were there - I know it gets worse! oh man!).  I have NO pictures from that!!!!  We descended upon the local Burger King and literally took over the joint because we also went with our children's pastor, her daughter, and Seth and Maria Waters and their children (who now pastor in San Francisco).  It was a family reunion!

 Here is Kate with her buddy Ella Waters.  They had a blast together.

 Jack with Ian and Levi Waters

 Mark and Seth Waters

 The girlies hugging goodbye

Me with Momma Waters - aka Maria

 By the way, we got to worship with Matt Redman!  He's the tiny dot in the middle with the guitar.  It was amazing!

 

We were gone from Monday morning till late, late Thursday night - actually 1am Friday morning.  The ladies rode together and literally talked the whole way down and back.  We bonded over ministry, marriage and parenting.  It was beautiful to see God knit our hearts together.  What a blessing!

Last weekend in April

I realize that I've been silent for a long time.  Longer than normal. 

Honestly I haven't had a lot to share.  Our life has been pretty steady.  School, work, church, baseball, art class.  Not much deviation in there. 

Mark and I are slowly learning what we need to do as a team.  If you were to ask me what it's like pastoring a church, I'd say based on the past 3 weeks it's a cinch! (wink, wink).  I know that we've not even begun to come out of the "honeymoon" stage.  We haven't been in this position long enough to ruffle feathers and make folks uncomfortable.  That will come I'm sure.  But for now, we have been amazed at the support and encouragement and excitement we've seen from many.  So very thankful for that grace during this time.

This past weekend Mark and Kale headed with our trailer to Canyonlands in Utah.  I will post those pictures when I get them off of Mark's phone.  They had a blast!

Kate, Jack and I stayed home and were busy ourselves.  Friday night I went out with several ladies from various small groups (including ours) that meet on Friday nights.  We had a great time getting together and just hanging out sans kids!

Saturday we did some deep cleaning and got haircuts but then Kate got to go to a ballet recital.  She loved it!  Our friend, Ashley, was performing and although it was long, Kate thought it was so cool and has already talked about going next year.

While Kate was at the ballet (something I'm quite confident that Jack would not have enjoyed) Jack and I had our own little date.  

 We headed downtown for some pizza.  Here we are waiting for our order.  It's hard to take a self-portrait with a 3-yr old!

 Here are the ginormous slices of pizza we enjoyed.  They were huge and yummy!

 That's my kind of pizza!

 After pizza we headed to our frozen yogurt place (fro-yo as our friends call it)

 Then to the park.  Just us.  It was such a beautiful night.

 This is what I saw for a good portion of the time there.  He's always begging me to swing. This time he got to swing to his heart's content.

 This little guy just makes me melt.  He's such a stinker at times but I love those beautiful eyes and his sweet smile.  It was so fun just hanging out alone with him.  A rare treat.

The Beginning

I realize that it is now April.  I realize that March marched right on by without many peeps from me.  I realize that I have much to update you on.  Hence my presence at this time :)

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of our lives.  At least the first day of this season of our lives.  It was our first official Sunday as the lead pastors of the River Church!  Overwhelmed is an understatement!

Let's back up a couple weeks so I can catch you up on this process that I haven't been able to share much about until now.

A week ago last Thursday (almost 2 weeks ago), Mark got a call from our regional supervisor requesting a meeting with our district supervisor on Monday (April 2nd).  We had a feeling we knew what the meeting was going to be about but we weren't given many details so we didn't share with many people what we were doing.  The staff knew and a few others but that was it.  We just didn't have enough info.

My mental state was excited, confused, wondering....

To be honest, I had prayed just a week or so before (again) that I was ready and willing to submit to a new pastor in a new season.  I had figured that because we hadn't heard anything new in a long time that it meant they were in the process of talking with other people.  And truly, I was ok with that.  My dream hadn't really ever been to senior pastor.  A year ago if you had asked me, I would have laughed! I truly thought that Mark and I were doing what we were supposed to be doing and senior pastoring may be in the distant (and I mean distant) future.  Not in a year!  Never crossed my mind.

After we found out about our pastor moving was the first time we even talked about it.  And even then it was hesitantly.  Only as the process went on did I really begin to see the possibility and some of what God could do through the visions He was sharing with Mark and I.  But then with no word, I figured we would wait.

Then we headed up to Denver last Monday.  You can't help but wonder and plan and hope and at the same time hold back not wanting to assume....We met with Chad and spent 3 1/2 hours interviewing, another hour taking a personality profile type test and then having dinner with he and his wife.  All great stuff but we still weren't sure what it all meant.

Tuesday morning we met again to go over the testing and Chad asked us if we had any questions for him.  Being the up front people Mark and I tend to be, we said yeah, why are we here? :)  Chad smiled and told us that we were their choice for the position but that the interview was to see if any red flags came up.  He also said that he'd been up till 2am the night before praying for the decision and that he felt confident offering us the job.

We were elated!  All I could think about was how not even 6 months ago did I see this coming!  But looking back (2, 4, 10...even 15 years) I see how God orchestrated things, refined us, taught us, prepared us.  I fully embrace this new season with excitement and hope.  The peace and joy are, by far, greater than the little pee-my-pants feeling I also am experiencing (yes I totally admitted that and I'm fine with it cause it's the truth!).  The Lord reminded me this weekend of scriptures that were given to us over the years that we've clung to.  His promises to us.  So humbling.

It's a privilege and a great responsibility and we don't take that lightly.  But it is with great joy that we look to our future and the future of our church.

Our regional supervisor came down yesterday to share the news with our church.  We were humbled by their response.  And so happy for the support and encouragement we received.  We really could not be working at a better church.  These people are above and beyond.  They are our family away from family.

And that's the story!  Of course the story is just beginning now, again, but that's the way it played out.  I have more pictures and more things to update you on coming soon.  I'll end with a scripture that Mark's mom shared with us after she heard the news.  I love this translation!

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Eph. 3:20 NLT 

Fun on Friday 33 - {swimming. again.} and Semi-homemade...

Nothing too exciting to report about our Fun on Friday. Swimming again. The kids have been swimming deprived so we are trying to make up for it. And since we have a pass...well that's what we're doing while it's cold outside. Although I have to admit that swimming isn't my favorite thing. Well let me rephrase that...sitting in a shallow kids pool watching my kids splash around while I freeze my tail off isn't so fun. Swimming itself is nice...in a hot tub! I swam a couple laps (4) while we were there and was saddened at how out of shape I am and how truly difficult it is to swim and swim and swim! And I was on the swim team at 6 years old for crying out loud! Maybe that's what I'll do when we go to the pool. I'll swim and get a work out and let Mark watch the kids. Hmmmm. Wonder if I could convince Mark? Doubt it.

Anywho. So like I said, not much to report there. But I thought I would show you a couple things I've been doing lately.

First off, I got this awesome Bible (an Inductive Bible) for Christmas from Julie and Mike. I saw that Mark's mom owned one and decided it looked amazing. So I've been doing Bible study everyday and marking the snot out of my Bible. I'm in highlighter heaven! I used to study my notes in college this way and it's taken my Bible studies to a whole new level. It feels like someone gave me a shovel and I'm discovering stuff way beneath the surface. Seriously. You look for key words, phrases, concepts. Ask the 5 W's and the H. Mark names, dates, places. It makes you think! I love it. Have I mentioned I love it? :)

Anyway, I get up. Read it. Drink coffee. And see this. Perfect.

We also did a little semi-homemade project that's been going around in my head for a while. We really needed a coat rack. Really. So I looked for one to buy and was appalled at how much they were! $100 for one?! No way! At least for a decent one. So we tried to figure out how much it would cost to build our own. We figured we could make it for $50. And that's what we did on Saturday.

Mark bought the wood and the hardware (paint made the project more expensive but it was under $50 for the wood and hardware) and had them cut it to length.

The kids and I painted it. No pictures of that since I was trying to monitor 3 excited kids while Mark was outside fixing the steps of our front deck. These are the legs at the base. Then we attached them to a 6 foot 4x4 post. Drilled in the hardware. Fixed the cap on top. Voila! (is that even spelled right?)
And that was our productive weekend!

What's Up?

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Afternoon update:
I realized (after I published this) that I have yet to mention another wonderful thing that happened. My sister, Kelly, got engaged! She and Carson will be married on June 9th in the Golden area. That's 2 weddings this summer! My brother's is August 18th. So we will be spending uber amounts of time in the Denver area with family and I couldn't be more thrilled. Wow!
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A few things actually....

Mark finished the long application for the pastor position. It was only 10 questions long but each question had roughly 10 parts. And they aren't like "how old are you?". They were more like "Tell of a time you had conflict in ministry. What happened and how did you handle it." Every question was one he had to think about and write short answers too. It took him a few weeks to work through all the questions and he finally finished a couple days ago. The next step is a formal interview that he will have next week with our regional guy and the district guy. I think he's just excited to move forward in another step. We are both fully at peace with whatever happens. There are moments when I'd love for him to be senior pastor. Moments where it thrills me and I get overwhelmed with ideas and visions. Then I have moments of "no way could we do this!". Moments of being overwhelmed with the responsibility and leadership requirements. I suppose, in the end, that's a great thing. If I felt like we were ready under our own power then we'd be terrible pastors. Being a pastor (even now) means relying on Jesus for strength and direction and encouragement. We have been told it will be a miracle if we get this job and I say that's the only way I'd ever want to do it. If God ordains it, then let it be so. If not, then we'll love and submit to the next pastor and enjoy God's plan. So that's where we're at with that. The superintendent (the big main dude in our district) will be here over Super Bowl weekend and he will speak at our church and most likely do another interview with Mark and with Steve.

I've had a crazy, busy ministry time in the past few days. I spoke about marriage at our local MOPS group (mother's of preschoolers) on Tuesday. I am certainly no expert on marriage. Only been married almost 12 years (next month). But God has shown me that all He requires is that I love Him and then share with others what He's done in my life. I don't tell people how to have good marriages or be great parents or be a good leader. I only tell them what God has done in me and hopefully it'll minister to them because I am far from great in all of those areas but God has done amazing things in my life and changed me in so many areas! I love bragging on God!

I also decided to step out and continue in women's ministry in the interim. I have a heart for it and have felt like God was leading me to do this, so I am. We had a planning meeting on Tuesday evening to start the process of what women's ministry looks like in this in between period. I'm super excited for the future of this. Lots of hopes and dreams but also lots of waiting for more direction.

I also started back working for the CPA that I have worked for the last 2 tax seasons. It's a nice part-time, evening job that brings in a little extra dinero that we appreciate. It's also exhausting because it certainly isn't a job I can mindlessly do after a long day with my children. It's one that requires my attention and focus the entire time. It wipes me out! So I'm praying for more strength and focus for the next few crazy, insane months.

And lastly, but certainly not leastly....I'm an aunt again! 3rd one this year baby! My brother-in-law, Chad, and his wife, Alisha, had their baby girl Tuesday afternoon. Her name is Alannah Joy and she was a mere 5 pounds! I so can't wait to figure out how to get up to Denver in the next month or so and love on that cutie pie! I'll post pictures when I get some more!

And now I'm off to clean up the kitchen from breakfast and start school with the kids...and rely on God for perseverance, patience and the ability to get everything done today!

Reflections...

Our weekend wasn't quite as busy as our past few have been. We only had one Christmas party last night that we attended (besides going to church where Mark preached and did fabulous). It was a great night filled with catching up with people we've known over the years and only see once a year.

This weekend I've been thinking lots of things {a quiet mind isn't something I'm blessed with} and I reflected on another lesson that God taught me in this last year.

He is my Defender.
Psalm 119:154 -- Defend my cause and redeem me; preserve my life according to your promise.

There was a time when I was confronted with things that I knew, absolutely, were not true about me. Things that I know I had not said and not done. I was shocked and saddened to think that someone thought this about me.

All I wanted to do was defend myself, tell them it wasn't true, convince them that I'm not who they think. I began to do just that but I quickly realized it was pointless. I wanted to attempt to try again a couple weeks later but God said hush.

I've often told people that if they are upset with me pleeeease come talk to me and let me either explain or apologize but pleeeease don't go on thinking something that isn't true. Please give me a chance to make it right and then if you're still mad at me then at least it's for something that's true and not a lie.

And while I still think that {I'd rather have every effort made to have real and honest relationships} I also realize that in many circumstances it won't matter what I say or how I try and defend myself and that it can be my pride that wells up in an attempt to defend myself. I've not encountered that type of relationship often in my life.

But God showed me that He is my Defender. He will speak on my behalf. He will take care of me even if it isn't changing the mind of the person who thinks these things. My job is to be quiet.

And I was. I decided to trust God. And He came through. He surrounded me with a few people who supported and encouraged me. I didn't go seeking my own group. He brought them to me. And He showed me that that was enough.

He is enough.

I don't have to make everything "right" all the time. I need to do what He says and that's all. He takes care of the rest. He showed me that when Christ was brought before Herod and Pilate and accused of so many things that were absolutely not true - He was silent. I'm not comparing my suffering to that of Christ but He is my example of how to live. And when He was accused, He was silent. That is what I am to do.

Let Him be my Defender. Hopefully my actions, and not my mouth, will speak about who I am and what I believe.

Is this making any sense? I kind of feel like I'm rambling.

Anyway, God showed Himself as my Defender this year.

Psalm 62:5-8 -- Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him for God is our refuge.

Fun on Friday 31 - {Discovery!}

Yesterday was a fun-packed Friday if there ever was one!

The trick to these posts is doing some of the same things but taking different pictures of us doing the same things...

We decided to go get a special doughnut breakfast at Doughworks in town. The kids love doughnuts and I was excited about a sesame bagel with cream cheese. De-lish. Aaaaand there were no pictures taken to document the doughnut eating.

BUT

I tried to make up for it the rest of the day.

We headed over to the Discovery museum.
And played with mustachesAnd then we hung out at home until our staff Christmas party!
The men: Steve, Bill, Ben, Mark and Nick The glowing ladies: me, Kelly, Jen, Kristen and Lori
The kids were being watched by some wonderful, wonderful kids on staff and the adults enjoyed a fabulous meal at a fancy tableAnd then played a fabulous game of Pirate Bingo.
Kristen and Jen won our two gag gifts. Kristen-a tampon angel and Jen-the big blue M&M! Such troopers!We are so blessed to work with such amazing people. Unfortunately we were missing our youth pastors. They had an emergency to attend to last night. And of course we are still awaiting what we will do about a senior pastor. But for now, I am so thankful for the gift God has given us in these people. We are truly thankful!