Diary of a pregnant woman - quatro

I'm not a mad pregnant woman...yet...so I'll change the title when my condition changes. But I did want to put some thoughts down about this oh-so-interesting new life coming - numero quatro. We have uno, dos and tres and apparently it's time for quatro. I like the name quatro. I don't think that will go on a birth certificate but for now it works. Makes me smile. That's important. At least to me.

This pregnancy can be classified as a surprise although I don't really suppose it's a huge surprise. When we told some siblings they said "Of course. We always thought you'd have 4. We've just been waiting..." And some friends said the same thing. Then there was this one gal who said "Girl! Don't you know how these things happen?!" I told her yes and we were never doing that again....JK.

But God told me about 6 months ago. I just didn't really believe it. I had a dream sometime last summer about us having 4 kids and quatro being a surprise. A surprise meaning we weren't trying to get pregnant. And yes I know how this can happen and let me just say (not graphically) that when God wants you pregnant it can happen no matter what you think. I always knew that but had never truly experienced it this way.

My friends make fun of me because for some reason Mark and I have been able to plan our other 3. All this means is that we decided it would be good to have a kid and it happened the next month. We absolutely know many people do the same thing we did and they don't get pregnant - at least not that quickly if at all. We also know people do what we did this last time, and take precautions, and they still get pregnant. We do not, nor have we ever, truly thought it was in any way completely up to us. Yes we believe in seat belts in cars but it's still up to God. Make sense? And we're fine with that.

After my dream I prayed and told God (yes sometimes I tell Him things - I'm being honest!) that if we really were going to have 4 children then He'd have to do it because I wasn't ready to be pregnant and go through labor and delivery all over again. Yes I'm selfish. I'm not bragging about my thoughts, just sharing them.

So when I peed on that stick and it turned positive almost instantly (by the way I still waited in another room for the full 3 minutes with a timer before I believed the test) I laughed and cried. Laughed because God answered my prayer - even my selfish one, and cried because, well, of my selfish prayer. I was a bit in shock (which is why I took all 3 tests that came in the box - no sense in wasting them and I sure as heck wanted to make sure I read the first one right!) but not really since God had already told me this was going to happen. I guess I just kept thinking 'for real?'

I am 100% excited to meet this new little Palmer no matter what though. I can't imagine what a fourth one will look like, act like (please be mellow, please be mellow, please be mellow), and sound like. 33 weeks seems like an eternity from now....I am already in love with quatro and dreaming of meeting them (with no pain of course - a girl can dream of a pain free delivery!).

Will quatro be a boy and add to the boy-ness? Will they be a girl and balance out this little/big family with another princess? Kate says both and I'm praying she's wrong :)

My last minute "adventure"

No baby yet. Just wanted to start with that :) but I did go to the hospital this afternoon.

For the past week I've been experiencing an irregular heartbeat. I can feel my heart beating forcefully in my chest and it feels like it's skipping or adding a beat. It caught me by surprise the first time. It kind of felt like Jack had kicked straight up and knocked every organ in the way. I didn't think too much of it until it started to happen more and more. Over the weekend it became more frequent so I decided to call the midwives this morning and find out if I should be concerned. I'm usually not one to worry unless told to so it was weird to call but I figured it would be better to look like a crazy pregnant lady who's just fine than have something really be wrong. The midwife called me later and told me to go to the hospital when I could and get an EKG just to be on the safe side. Thanks to my friend Jo, I was able to go after lunch with no kids. Otherwise they probably would've seen stress on that test because of me trying to keep my kids away from all the cool hospital stuff. Anyway, it turns out that they test you for 10 seconds total and of course I didn't have a "palpitation" during those 10 seconds. So I'm totally normal -- whatever that means :) And of course I had palpitations walking out of there, driving home, sitting on the couch, etc ... But I'm okay with that. I'm sure things are fine.

So I just wanted to fill you in and let you know the latest news about the baby and me. Still hoping he'll come soon!

final preperations....then we wait

I was a little bored yesterday at my house and was trying to determine why. Usually I'm so busy I don't have time to be bored. I will play with my kids, clean up the house, do laundry, read, etc... Yesterday was different and it took me awhile to figure out why. Then I realized that I'm entering the waiting zone.

Ya see, there comes a time in your pregnancy - near the end of course - when all you can do is wait. You've prepared as much as you can physically prepare so there's not much left to do. As much as I'd like to be scrubbing my floors and picking up toys and doing loads and loads of laundry I physically can't do it all. I pay dearly for it. So I do small amounts at a time then sit. And boy do I get bored of sitting. I don't want to watch TV - don't want my kids watching TV - although we've had some Olympics on. I can't help it :) I've read books to myself and to my kids but you can only do that so long. I would never have survived bed rest!

I've started having dreams (more like nightmares) of my water breaking in Walmart. That's enough to scare you from ever going to Walmart. Of course I'm still going out and doing things but the thought of what if you go into labor never leaves your mind. It's still early (I'm one day away from 3 weeks to go) but Kale was born by this time. Kate waited till her due date so there's no telling what this one will decide to do. I'm not completely fearful but it is comical the things I start to think.
Things like:
'boy I haven't shaved my legs in a while - like anyone will really care'
'I haven't packed my bags yet maybe I should get on that'
'Do I have enough food in the house? I really don't want to go to Walmart the week before...'
'I'll be having all this company after Jack comes and my house is well...not so spotless :) '
'Where's that darn breast pump and all those bottles!?'
'Do I really not have one shirt that doesn't stick out like a tent over this huge watermelon looking belly?'
'Do I have enough clean underwear?'

I'm telling you, the waiting is crazy! You're nervous to make too many plans because every plan has to have a back up baby plan. The truth is the baby could come at any time, the reality is that he probably won't. I don't want to even think that he could come earlier than Sept. 12th because if he doesn't I may go crazy. Similarly, if he comes after the 12th, well let's just say Oh Mylanta.

When the baby comes you can finally move on with life. Make plans again and go to Walmart. Until then, the last few weeks are a guessing game. And I'm one who likes order. I like to know when, where, how long, how will it happen and what will it cost. Not good if you're about to have a baby!

Another entry in the diary of the mad (as in crazy) pregnant woman

The Battle in My Mind
DISCLAIMER *****To my dear sisters and sisters-in-law and anyone else who has yet to be pregnant, please do not be discouraged by reading this entry. As you know, I love my kids, it's the pregnant thing that I'm not too fond of and that's the truth :) *****

I am in the bottom of the final inning of this pregnancy and stuff just goes downhill - literally... The belly is lower for sure but the battle in the body and the battle in the mind intensify. I believe that God allows us to be pregnant for nine months to prepare us for the upcoming arrival. First off, at this point you don't care how this baby gets out - you just want them out. I remember thinking when I first got pregnant with Kale that there is only one way out (I know there's actually two but not everyone plans on the second way - they just worry about the first way). And then when you've done it twice before, the first way can really be scary again because you remember but you don't really remember. But like I said, at this point, you don't care how it happens or even that it might be the most crazy pain you've ever felt, you just want them out and your body back.

And secondly, you begin to lose more and more sleep at night as rolling over becomes a gymnastics routine. There's the grunting, the pulling, the shifting gently, the rearranging, the organizing of the several pillows and then there's the kicking. Once I've successfully made the move, Jack inevitably wakes up to and begins his little gymnastics routine for another 20 minutes or so. And honestly it's just hard to fall back asleep when your stomach is twisting and turning and dancing. The entire rolling over process can take about 25 minutes of being awake and that's only if once you've rolled over, the baby doesn't land on your bladder. If they do, well that's a hobbling trip to the bathroom - at least another 5 minutes or so. So you see, God begins to prepare us for nightly feedings and living off of less and less sleep.

I have 4 weeks and one day to go till the official due date but who's counting? I am actually and if I knew the countdown of the hours I could probably tell you that to. Now to be completely fair, I am not having a competition with any other woman out there who has had children. This is by far not the worst pregnancy in the history books and I do not mean to imply ever that it is. I am not on bed rest, I do not have high blood pressure or swelling of my hands and feet, nor do I have gestational diabetes. Overall it is a normal pregnancy. It's not a cake walk but it's not unreasonable. But that doesn't mean I still have to love every second does it? I have to try and keep my sense of humor because without it....well, there would be no ice cream, cookie dough or chocolate within a 10 mile radius. And really that's the last thing I need since I've had no problem what-so-ever gaining the necessary weight. I think with Kate they told me at this point that I needed to gain a few more pounds. Not this one. I'm pretty sure they're trying to not hurt my feeling. A hormonal pregnant woman does not like to hear that she's huge. She already knows that...

I have a dear sweet friend that I thought I should mention in this entry. Her name is Linn and I love her very much. However, when it comes to birthing children, she and I are on opposite ends of .... everything :) First of all, she's an awesome mom and would adopt 5,000 children if she could and I'm not exaggerating. She told me that number last night! But she'd also give birth to children over and over again if possible. Due to circumstances, she's not really going to do that but she did tell me with Kate that if she could possibly be pregnant for me and even go through the delivery with no drugs she'd do it in a second. She loved being pregnant so much. I asked her if she was willing last night to take over this one and she very enthusiastically said of course! In fact, she was hurt in a bad biking accident two weeks ago and she told her husband she'd rather endure labor a hundred times over then feel the pain of her accident. Now, I've told her that she's crazy but she already knows that. In fact she'll probably read this entry and be laughing. It really is true and I had to tell you about a person who is absolutely unlike me in this area - just so you (my dear sisters and sisters-in-law) can know that I'm just a cranky one :) There are others who love this kind of torture!

So in closing, this last few weeks is really all about the battle of my mind. Taking it one day at a time and anticipating the arrival of this miracle. Everyday I tell myself that it's not much longer, you can see the finish line, it's coming down to the wire, your competition is way behind you (can you tell I've been watching the Olympics? but I am not the Michael Phelps of childbirth). And I know that 4 weeks and one day will fly by -- it just feels like a penguin flying (because they don't fly.........)

Contemplation

It's hard to blog when you're moody. It seems like I've been on the verge of tears all day - you never know what will set me off :) A sappy commercial, saying something I didn't want to hear...you name it it may lead to tears. I guess it's one of those side effects of pregnancy. One I'm having a harder time keeping under control.

Mark is leaving tomorrow to go camping for two days. He wants to get away and decompress, evaluate things, hear from God. All things that are great and that he deserves. So why am I having such a hard time not being selfish? I don't know. It makes sense that this is what he needs to do, it's just that the timing isn't so great and there's not much I can do about it but be on the verge of tears like I said before. I'll deal, we'll be fine, he'll have a great time and hopefully come back refreshed and life will go on. I know the outcome will be worth far more then my issues.

At the same time they started redoing our roof. There were other start dates but none worked until this morning. It'll be interesting to see what life is like with people on the roof. Can't wait to see the final product.

So in the middle of this chaos and moodiness what do I do to numb my mind? Well a friend of ours put up this link to a fun website that I've visited a few times....you'll have to check it out and have the same fun. It's www.thisissand.com. (Cool website for the kids (and adults). When you get to the website, it will appear blank...but click on the square box in the top left corner and it will provide you instructions on what to do.) Oh the fun....

Diary of a Mad (as in crazy) Pregnant Woman

So I am 29 weeks along in this pregnancy. Only 11 more to go. It's about this time that I am so very thankful that I am not an elephant (although at times I may feel or even look like one). Elephants are pregnant for 2 years. No way Jose!

My midwife told me that she has found that most third and subsequent pregnancies are harder because your body has been stretched out to there and back and it doesn't really go back. I would agree. I was thinking I was just a bigger wienie (which still may be true) but it was nice to know that my body has just been pulled to the max twice before so there's no support to hold this kid. Plus I am also chasing around the products of those first two pregnancies.

I think pregnancy is like a Discovery Chanel Documentary, comedy, and sci-fi film all rolled into one. It's like a documentary because you are learning about the amazing things your body can do and the miracle that God has allowed you to participate in. It's a comedy kind of for the same reasons. It's quite amusing what your body does and how it moves throughout this time. And it's a sci-fi film because you have this alien inside you that literally takes over your whole body and there's nothing you can do about it.

I was watching TV the other day and saw commercials for various prescription drugs. There's ones for blood pressure, osteoporosis, ED, arthritis etc. I felt that they were missing one for pregnancy. I picture it something like this.

There's a happy couple dreaming about having a baby. The narrator is describing this beautiful life with the baby and there's happy baby music playing in the background. Then the narrator's voice gets faster (almost like the Micro-machine guy from the 80's) as he announces the following.

"Pregnancy is not for everyone. Please consult your Dr. before becoming pregnant. Pregnancy is not for women who are pregnant or may become pregnant. Side affects include: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, swollen hands, feet and face, back pain, numbness in various places, headaches, leg cramps, stuffy nose, brown splotches anywhere on face or neck, stretch marks that may look like a road map of downtown LA, enlarged chest, difficulty breathing and sleeping, heart burn, stomach aches, aversion to certain foods and extreme cravings for others, inside-out belly button, weight gain, gas that will rock your world and the worlds of those around you, extreme moodiness, fatigue and exhaustion and many other possible side effects too private to mention with fathers, fathers-in-law, and various other males who may be reading this. (BTW, I do not experience all these symptoms, thank the Lord, but these are many of the possible side effects!)

Back to happy couple in a nursery holding their beautiful baby with lullaby in background again describing how wonderful it will be to hold that gorgeous new creation....

Sounds pretty good huh? I think it would be hilarious to see that. Just a warning to others. And just like the commercials, you don't care really about all the possible side effects, you are thrilled to pieces when you hold that beautiful little alien in your arms.

They're really there!

Last week was my second OB appointment. They were going to try and listen for the heartbeat. I was 11 weeks. With my first two children there were no problems hearing the heartbeat. With Kale I had an ultrasound and with Kate I just don't remember any issues with hearing her. With this one it took awhile for them to find it. After a few tense moments ( I was tense, the midwife wasn't worried at all - she said my uterus was growing just great - I said no kidding...) she found that fast little heartbeat and I couldn't have been more thrilled. Kale didn't quite get it but still thought it was interesting, Kate couldn't have cared less. She was more interested in eating her raisins. I wanted to cry. With so many miscarriages happening to my dear friends I never once thought it couldn't happen to me. In fact I think I kind of distanced myself from feeling pregnant just in case. Hearing the heartbeat just made everything so much more exciting. I was so very thankful that things are going along smoothly so far.

Kale and I watched a Baby story the other day. Don't ask me why, it was just on. He loves seeing the babies, but it does raise interesting questions. Anyway, he asked me how babies get out of their mommies tummies. Um.....good question. Especially since he doesn't totally understand anatomy. He asked me if they were pooped out. Um.....good question. In the end I just said that God gives mommies special ways to get the baby out. That seemed good enough for him. Then he asked if I would stop grunting (like the woman on the show) after the baby was out. I said yes most likely. Needless to say, a Baby Story won't be on much. I just don't think I'm prepared to answer all the questions.

The life of a Work Widow

Do you like the bed? I think it's perfect! This is the bed Mark is sleeping in during his work trip to Phoenix, AZ this week. He left on Monday and is coming home sometime tomorrow. Some very generous people opened their home so he and Seth (another pastor at our church) could stay there for free. A huge blessing. But I'm not sure he's going to want to come home and sleep in our boring old bed. Last night Kale was praying for Mark before bed and he asked God to bless Dad's race car bed. Kale's very jealous.

So like I said, Mark is out of town. This was discussed and decided last Thursday. Plenty of time (not really) to prepare. I was wondering what this was going to be like. Me and the kids....alone....for 4 days....by ourselves....with the dog....and 3 feet of snow....did I mention alone? Just kidding. So far it's been pretty good. I know the kids are getting sick of me. You can only take mom saying no one so many times before you just really want dad to say no instead.

On top of that we have company coming into town tonight I believe. They were scheduled to come in tomorrow but because of the weather are leaving earlier so they hopefully won't be stuck anywhere. That means they may be here late tonight, early tomorrow morning. It's Mark's sister and her husband. We are very much looking forward to them being here. Kale's birthday is on Sunday and his Transformer party is on Saturday and it's neat to be able to have some family here for it. It's just a bummer that Mark is gone right before they get here. Because even though they're family I still want things to be nice ya know? And with my never ending battle of toys, well....I know they'll still love me :) We also need to do some last minute shopping for the birthday stuff.

Kate, as I'm typing, is dressed up in her princess dress I bought for her the day after Halloween for half price. She's spinning in the dining room and singing a made up princess song and looking at a very old Cinderella book. She's an adorable princess.

Before my husband left on his trip I asked him who was going to take care of his dog. Of course I knew he was assuming I was going to do it but that was the whole point - he assumed. You know what that makes you...And bless his heart, he looked at me and said "I assumed you were going to do it" For those of you who don't know the story of how our dog came to this house, basically Mark promised to do everything--and I mean everything. I'm not the dog person in the house for sure. I love my husband very much and wanted to make him happy but I already have 3 children to take care of and I knew that a puppy was going to drain me even more. Mark has kept his word and fed, trained (and continued to train), and walked him, and even has taken him to the vet. He's doing a great job. But I had to give him a hard time as he was leaving me with the dog-alone-for 4 days. I told him to pray that the dog was still here when he came back :)

I'm now 10 weeks into this pregnancy. I'm thrilled to be in the double digits. Only 30 weeks left. UGH! That's forever! But hopefully I'll get some much missed energy back here in a couple weeks. I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday to hear the heartbeat. The kids are going with me. I think Kale will love to hear the baby. I know I will. I kinda feel pregnant but hearing a heartbeat makes everything so much more real. I can't wait.

Well I'm off to go fold laundry, pick up my room, and change the sheets on the bed. Very exciting stuff. Wait a minute...didn't I just do that last week? Oh yeah, I did. Maybe it's not as exciting as I thought.

It's freezing down here!

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. Blogging is intimidating. I guess I'm insecure. Didn't think I had such a problem but it's coming out as I anticipate blogging. The irony is that only about 10 people even know this exists and it's still scary. I'm a weeny! Plus, I have bookmarked two friends' blogs that are amazing. They are up to date, witty, entertaining and wonderful. I love lurking (a new word I just learned from one of their blogs - it means to read the blog and not leave a comment - yup, that's me!). It's just so fun to read some of them. I can never think of something clever or fun to comment, so I don't. Again, I'm a weeny :)

My children just went down for a much needed nap. This week has been pretty insane - or at least I'm insane after this week. Kate's been sick with a cold all week. I've seen and wiped more then my fair share of disgusting snot, been coughed and sneezed on and whined at for 7 days now, and now have the same fabulous cold. I'm tired (fatigued as they call it in the prenatal world), sick and my patience is on empty. Combine that with only getting out of the house a total of 2 times this week and there's where the insanity comes in. I finally begged Mark to take us out for dinner last night (I say that sarcastically because there is absolutely no arm twisting with Mark for dinner out). It felt so wonderful to see the outside world!

It snowed again this week on top of the other foot or so of snow and ice on the ground so our driveway is an ice rink. I got stuck the other morning trying to get out to help a friends dog. Mark and I spent about a half hour after he got home from work trying to get the Rocket ship out. We both made the comment that we couldn't believe we made it over Wolf Creek an hour before they closed it for 3 days but we can't make it out of our driveway! Then last night on they way back from dinner, Mark got the van stuck. Thanks to our fabulous neighbor it didn't take all night to get out. I'm so excited to get more snow tomorrow!!!!!

I'm seven weeks pregnant now and still excited. I'm pretty sure this will be the longest pregnancy ever since I found out so very early. But that's okay. I was thrilled to be able to tell family while we were up in Denver. The other two times we got to share news over the phone. It's different in person. Fun. Kale is excited for the new baby. I'm actually impressed that he remembers there's still a baby in there. He wanted to name him George but is okay with Jack (that is if we have a boy...) I'm not sure he'll share his Transformers with the new one though.

Kale told me the other day - on another note - that his brain was slow and therefore his body was slow. This was after he broke open a confetti popper thing that we got for Christmas and spilled small confetti all over the living room. I was already at the end of my pathetic rope and said that he and Kate, who was a great help in spreading things around, were going to pick it all up by themselves. I gave them a plastic bag and left the room. I observed the chaos from the other room. Kale sat there slowly picking up the confetti one at a time. He finally said that his brain was slow and therefore his body was slow and this was such hard work. I said that I'm sure it was but when we make a mess we clean it up and maybe he'll think about the cleaning up before making the mess next time. Yeah right. But I'll say it anyway. He finally did get it all cleaned up - no thanks to Kate.

My darling daughter Kate has disappeared this past week. In her place is a whiny, snotty, clingy, dearly pathetic look alike. Love her just as much but I do miss my sweetheart. Well, honestly there were moments of the sweetheart mixed in with the rest. But I'm excited for when the cold clears up and leaves town. Mark has been working all week trying to get Kate addicted to princesses. An undertaking that I am less than thrilled with. But it's kept her entertained during trying times. Mark did an amazing job with Kale and Transformers, I'm sure Kate and princesses will happen. Bummer. I did my best.

One more final thrilling thing....we ordered a new stove and dishwasher last weekend. No more prehistoric appliances! I couldn't be more excited about appliances. Mark got us a new computer - an iMac - and he's thrilled with that. The computer is cool, but a new stove! That's my bag of chips. Whatever that means. Anyway, they should be delivered next week I'm hoping. I don't know how they'll get down my ice skating rink driveway but that's not my problem. As long as they get them here :)

Our fabulous vacation is almost over. It has really flown by. Spent some time with the Boulder and Longmont Palmers, as well as the Arvada Priddy's. It was so great to be able to just spend time talking and playing games. Even went sledding one day. That probably would've been more fun if we didn't have the kids. Kale was tired after 2 or 3 runs and Kate took her gloves off and did not see the logic that puting them back on would make her hands warm again. When I made her put them on she threw a fit unlike any I'd seen before. We had a little talk in the car....

Kale spilled the beans about my "big belly" (according to him). He was sitting with Gma and Gpa Palmer early Saturday morning and out of the blue announced that mama had a baby in her belly. They were surprised and not quite sure if it was true. I confirmed it to them later after hearing the story. My son the secret keeper :)

I have to say that it's a little scary being pregnant again. Actually it's a little scary being a mom I suppose. There are so many things that could go wrong. I know that I can handle anything that happens but it's definitely in the back of your mind. Whenever my body feels funny it's one of the first things I think of. Fortunately it's usually just gas:) Unfortunately for Mark I guess.

As I'm writing this, my little sweet daughter is dragging one of Gma Judy's bar stools over to the white board. I'm assuming so she can color. One of her favorite things to do with any human who is willing to help her. Yesterday Gma Judy caught her dragging her little folding chair over to the fridge, climbing up and playing with the water dispenser. She had a nice little puddle going and was happily splashing away. Once she saw Gma she quickly got down, wiped her hands off and vanished. She knew!

Life changes, christmas again

So the past couple days have been big ones. We drove to Denver yesterday morning through snow, sun and terrible drivers. At one point we were driving in sunshine, could see the mountains around us, and in front of us was a huge wall of clouds. That's what we got to drive through. Made it safely though.

Had fabulous prime rib for Christmas dinner with 23 other starving people. Kale and Kate so badly wanted to open presents that Uncle Nate and Grandma Judy gave in a gave them a couple to tide them over.

We played Brown Bag Bingo and Mark almost won a huge bull ball sack. It even had a handle and you could put candy in it. They're really popular:) Dad stole it from him though so he walked away with a lovely couch arm kitty remote control holder. Boy are we lucky!

This morning was so fun with wrapping paper flying everywhere. Kale and Kate were very blessed with any imaginable toy - at least it felt that way. Two 5 foot "cities"!!!! Spiderman and Dora. Good thing we have that rocket ship. Oh, and a Spiderman bike and a ABC vacuum. Unbelievable. But they were in heaven.

Visited Target 2 times today. It's really a wonderful store. Didn't know it was that wonderful but it really is. When we got home the 2nd time Katie said that if we were interested in going again that she'd come along. Decided no thanks but it was tempting. We really need a Target in Durango.

Oh yeah, one more thing :) Found out that I'm pregnant again! Totally thrilled. It's in the plan but it's still a surprise and a blessing. Kale said he knew I was pregnant because my belly was so big. Uummmm...nice. Anyway he's very excited. He says Kate is getting a little sister and he is getting a little brother. I don't want twins... I'll leave that up to Seth and Maria thank you very much. Unfortunately I'll be 7 months blimpish for Meghan and Micah's wedding. Not to thrilling but I'm still happy. I'm due around September 7th. We're stoked.

Busy day tomorrow!