The post for which I have no title

I have plans to inform you of the happenings of our household.  I figured I've overused the word update so inform it is.

We decided a couple months ago to put our house on the market.  We felt like we had an OK from the Lord to go ahead and so we did.  We spent a month or two decluttering, pre-packing and deep cleaning the house to prepare it to be shown.  I've never seen my house look so nice!  It feels good to live with less.  I don't know if there's a way to keep this up wherever we move but we'll try!

We've had 3 showings since we put it up for sale 2 weeks ago. Mostly positive feedback but no offers. We have found a house west of town (again, we've actually found a few) that we like and feel the OK to move ahead on.  It was the only house we looked at, however, that already has a contingency on it.  They are waiting for a house to sell in Cortez.  My first instinct was to worry that we wouldn't get it.  But God reminded me that He is sovereign and that includes houses and moving etc.  It was wonderful to instantly sit back so to speak, and rest in the fact that He's got this figured out.  If this is the house for us then it will happen.  If it isn't then He will provide exactly what we need when we need it.   Such peace!

So we are in the waiting game.  We'll still look at other houses to see what is available (not a ton unfortunately) in the meantime.  I have a specific prayer list of requests for the house that I'm taking to God.  He was faithful to answer each one when we moved to this house and I believe He will be faithful again.

In March Mark and I hosted a marriage dinner at our church.  It was wonderful and it exceeded my expectations!  We wanted to encourage couples in their marriages and show them a good time.  We had a photobooth (hence the picture), a delicious catered dinner, everyone's wedding photos up on the big screen (that was hilariously fun trying to figure out who each couple were) questions on the table asking about their honeymoon/favorite thing about each other etc., a couple testimonies from couples about where God has brought them in their marriages, a fun game similar to the newlywed game (we just called it the wed game) with a prize, and a drawing at the end for a date night. We even renewed our vows! The sanctuary was decorated beautifully and I'm pretty sure people had a great time.  We certainly did and are planning on making it an annual event!

I'm also including a couple family photos taken by one our favorite photographers last fall.  Carol did our staff pictures for our Christmas cards (and has done them for many years).  We finally got the pictures.  I think they're so cute!

Two of my sisters and my sister-in-law are/were all pregnant.  My sister Kelly, on the left, had her little boy, Gavin William, 2 weeks ago.  Meghan, center, is due at the end of May and Sarah, right, is due the end of June.  Both are having girls.  We are having a serious baby boom!

Because little Gavin came we decided to head up to Denver for a trip to meet him.  Mark was supposed to be headed to Portland for a trip with other pastors but that got cancelled at the last minute.  We thought we'd just visit family instead.  We all got to coo and hold the newest cousin the first night we got up there.  Unfortunately I can't get that picture to post so you'll just have to see this one of my dad and Gavin.  He's so sweet!

Mark, Kale and I also got to enjoy a Rockies game in the way good seats (5 rows behind home plate!).  Mark went with Carson (Kelly's husband), and Nate and Sarah (my brother and his wife).  I went with Kale and my mom and sister Meghan.  You just can't get better seats!  We had a blast.  It was fun to be able to take Kale along.  He loved all the food that comes with the seats.  Frankly so did I!

After Kale and I went to the game we met up with Mark's family and we got to see our other niece and nephew.  Unfortunately they don't know us quite as well so it takes a while for them to warm up to us.  The pictures I took of them were as they were curiously looking at my phone camera :) Aren't they sweet?!

Mark and I started a 21 day Daniel Fast today.  Both of us have felt pulled towards another fast so it was neat how it all lined up.  A Daniel Fast isn't a juice fast.  Basically it's a vegan diet but a bit stricter.  It's based on the fast Daniel did in the Old Testament.  We can eat fruits and veggies and whole grains (unleavened bread, brown rice etc.) and drink only water.  No meat, dairy products, processed foods, sweeteners (natural or not), or coffee (hardest thing for me).  I'm looking forward to the spiritual benefits as well as the physical ones.  We both are in need of a new jump start!

At the end of May we are headed to Orlando, Fl for a pastor's conference.  We decided to extend the trip and visit Disney World.  The kids are super excited.  I'm excited and nervous.  I'm praying the kids do well having tons of crazy fun for 3 days and sharing a hotel room.  We're moving because we need more space to keep our sanity and yet we'll be staying in a hotel room together for almost a week...this will be interesting!

I've run out of time (actually went way past it) so I need to wrap this up.  I will try to be more consistent as my time allows.  Another thing Mark and I have started doing is waking up at 5 each morning.  I've used the time to workout, read my Bible and prepare for my day.  I'm trying to also use some of that time to keep up with my blogging.  I'm hoping it works!  Mark has been using it to do his school work.  It's been wonderful and we both enjoy the quiet mornings.  Just not the actual getting out of bed part :) We go to bed early now as you can imagine! I started out in my free early morning time and ended in the middle of breakfast.  I gotta get faster!

So Much

I realized as I opened up Blogger that I missed March completely.  Wow.  Awesome.  So very many things have been happening in my life and in my heart it's been a process of digesting and learning from it all.  I have not had a burning desire to blog....until this morning.  So here I am.  I'm not here to update you on our family life (which is going well - more updates on that will come....I think) but to share one of the many priceless gems God has graciously given me.

Three weeks ago I went on a retreat-type trip called HeartQuest.  It was here that I was unplugged and had no distractions and got to hear [clearly] God whispering to my thirsty heart.  He changed me.  And subsequently changed my life.  It wasn't just a quick revelation and move on.  It was a deeper revelation and understanding and healing.  Something I have felt so powerless in the past to do.  I had no frame of reference for what I desired in my heart.  I needed more of Him.  I got it.  He was/is faithful.  And gentle.  And kind.  And loving.  He ministered to my hurts and my fears and did so with love, with laughter, with peace.  I am forever changed.

Before I left I had been praying and looking for my rain to come.  In the OT Elijah had prayed (as God had told him to) for the rain to stop.  It did.  For 3 years.  But then Elijah prayed for the rain to come again.  He knelt on a mountain top and prayed fervently for God to send the rains again and drench the earth.  He looked up and didn't see the cloud.  So he prayed again.  Looked again - no cloud.  Prayed again.  This happened 7 times.  Then a cloud the size of a man's fist was visible in the sky.  Immediately Elijah jumped up to warn of the coming rain (remember it hadn't rained in 3 years).  He was so confident that God was coming he didn't wait for the rain - he saw the cloud and knew!  I had been praying and believing for my cloud and it came.  And He poured out into me!  Like a fire hose!  I'm still dripping wet!

So, the reason for my burning desire to blog...today I read James 1.  I studied this same book before my HQ in a Beth Moore Bible study back in February and it was wonderful.  But now I have new eyes.  I couldn't wait to see what Holy Spirit would show me with my new eyes and my clear and free heart.

It didn't take long.  I stopped and was brought back to verse 2 (told you I didn't get far).  I even laughed and questioned why I would stop there.  But I trusted and explored.  The words "consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds" kept standing out to me.  I believe God wanted to show me, anew, what this means for me now and how He has changed my perspective. 

Here's a bit of what I wrote down.  Trials are what help refine my faith.  They reveal to me what God wants to heal in me.  What fears or wounds need His presence.  For example, a week after I got back from my trip I battled in my mind something very powerful.  I have felt invisible. Like no one really sees what I do at home, with our house, with our kids, behind the scenes.  I hear complaints (mostly from my kids of course).  I wondered if it really mattered.  If what I was doing at home - laundry, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, homeschooling etc...- was actually making a difference.  It's mundane.  Boring at times.  Feels unimportant. 

On this day in particular I faced some events that just confirmed (in my mind) what I was feeling.  Immediately I knew it was a lie and was reminded that I was different.  But I didn't know how to battle it.  And battle I did.  In my head!  It was overwhelming emotionally.  I asked God to show me why I felt this way and how to fight it off.  He spoke so gently to me and said 'you want to know that all you do matters. That you matter. You want to hear a good job every once in a while.  The problem is that you expect your kids and your husband to do that.  They can't be that for you.  I can.  I see.  I know.  I care and it matters to me.  Let that be your recognition and praise.'

I stopped almost instantly and began meditating on the fact that He sees.  He knows.  He cares.  It matters to Him.  And I was changed. He revealed Himself to me as El Roi - the God Who Sees.  He met me in my battle - because I invited Him in - and He revealed Himself to me.  And I considered it pure joy!!

I got it!  The joy of the trial is in knowing Him more intimately.  More beautifully than before.  The joy is being set free!  Healed from wounds!  And my friends, I have experienced a joy unspeakable.  He came in to my heart, cleaned house, and I never want to go back to that messy place again.  I want to clean up the messes as they come and continue to experience His great joy even in the midst of sorrow and struggle.

Romans 5:3-4 says (and I paraphrase) that the trials and suffering eventually produce hope.  And hope doesn't disappoint because God poured out His love into us by His Holy Spirit - His gift to us.  Hope and Holy Spirit are precious gifts and the Bible says that trials produce more of that so then, I will consider it joy!

Then in 1 Peter 5:3-4 it says that these trials have come so my faith - which is worth far more that gold! - may be genuine and bring God glory.  Bring. God. Glory.  My heart's desire.  I consider it joy!  Even as I type these words I'm overwhelmed with the joy in my heart.

He's used my trials to reveal to me my hurts and wounds and His character and nature.  I've been studying the names of God (ever since El Roi) so I could know and proclaim Who He is more and more.  He's shown me He's Almighty God, All-Sufficient One, Lord, God Most High, the Great I AM.  I'm blown away time and again as I see the hugeness of my God!  I can trust Him.  I can follow Him.  I can depend on Him.  Nothing gets by Him.  I'm not even kidding when I say it's a level of freedom that I have not experienced before in my life.  Everything within me says don't lose it!

And this isn't the end of my story.  Only the beginning.  I pray that in whatever trials you are going through that you invite into them the Almighty God who wants to show you His love, His protection, His goodness and kindness, His faithfulness, His provision, His healing....

Shalom!