Hello?

Hello.  This is me.  Jill.  Slinking back to my blog that I abandoned 7 months ago.  I didn't set out to abandon it.  It just sort of happened.  Life happened and I stopped blogging about the life that was all consuming.  I have some regrets for stopping and I have some fears about starting again.  For the 3 of you that read this please accept my apologies for being MIA.  My goal is to start writing regularly again.  Part of my reason for this, besides wanting to let my parents know what's happening down here in D-town, is that I joined a writers group a couple months ago and I need to practice writing.  It's something that I think I really enjoy doing but when you haven't done it in forever, you definitely get out of practice.  Like riding a bike.  So I'm getting back on the bike and taking a ride and praying that I can stay on, improve and maybe even say something meaningful!

So let me start with filling you in (briefly!) on the past 7 months.  Since June I have had another lasik surgery to correct my over-corrected right eye (which worked wonderfully and I love being able to see!!), hired new staff, had a birthday and went camping with my love, started all the kids in extra-curricular activities (will share more on that in a moment), went to our denomination's conference in Keystone, Co., stayed an extra few days for vacation with the Palmer side, spoke at our women's retreat about women's identities, started a life group for young adults, went to Denver for a fundraising dinner, did premarital counseling with a couple, went to Golden/Boulder for Thanksgiving, had a crazy 3 weeks of December doing kids programs, women's programs and special services, had our youth pastor step down, hired another one, went back up to Golden/Denver for Christmas and New Years, came back and started a 21 day Daniel fast (only fruits/veggies/beans/nuts), got the flu, took care of Jack who had something nasty and finally got back into school just this past week.  Wow! 

That's not everything of course, but it's a quick overview.

All 3 kids have started extra curricular stuff.  Kale and Jack did Jujitsu for a couple months.  Kale loved it and is still doing it twice a week, Jack was great at it but was bored so we moved him to gymnastics which, so far, he loves.  He's also great at that.  Kate has been doing gymnastics since September and is really excelling and moving through the levels.  Thanks to me, however, she missed this round of classes because I signed her up too late.  Ouch!  She's taking it really well though thankfully!

We spent several weeks doing Occupational Therapy for Kate again.  She was struggling with her SPD and we felt like we needed some extra help.  It was a real blessing and she loved the therapist.  Unfortunately our insurance doesn't cover it so we had to cut it short.  But we got a lot out of it before we had to be done.  

Mark is really thriving in his role as lead pastor.  There are many parts to it that are a struggle for both of us, but God has gracefully surrounded us with amazing people to encourage, support and love us even in our imperfectness.  God is refining us in this role and pouring out tons of vision and hope into Mark for this next season in our church.  New classes.  New beginnings.  New staff.  Everything is new to us! haha!

School, for us, is finally back in session after taking almost a month off for vacation and illness!  All the kids are doing well and even though they don't always enjoy it, they get it done and are able to spend much of the day playing and doing things they love.  I still love to homeschool.  Not every single day but overall I see it as the gift that it is to me and my kids.  

My goals for this year are to learn how to rest and rest well.  
Take time for myself and take care of myself. 
Learn how to do things that I love to do (and frankly discover what that even is!).  
Write more.  
Listen more.  
Read through the Bible.  
Be present.
Print my old blog posts.
Maybe change up how I do this blog.
Upload a couple beautiful family photos that were taken of us this year...stinking blogspot!

Like I said at the beginning of this, I have joined a Christian women's writers group at the encouragement of my husband and another friend. This, by far, is the scariest thing I've done - which is surprising to me since speaking at our women's retreat this past October was nerve-wracking.  But calling myself a writer, actually writing, thinking that I may say something that people may actually want to read in the sea of great writers...terrifying!  But I'm wanting to step out, scare myself a bit, explore this path that God has put me on and see where it goes.  Blogging is going to be a big part of this.  Blogging here as well as my other blog (link in upper right of the page).  So here I go!

Sneaking back onto this page...hoping people will join with me again on this journey of motherhood, marriage and ministry :)

---------

I hope I have this figured out. All photos taken by one of our favorite photographers (we have a few!) Carol Cardwell. 

Our awesome staff. We have such fun with them! 

Stewardship

The other day I took the kids to City Market (hated it, won't be doing it again anytime soon...). Before we left home, Kale ran to his banana bank and took out $2.00 in quarters. He put them in his pocket and said he was going to buy cars with it. Money burns some serious holes in Kale's pockets. Just the thought of being able to buy something or go to a store with money in his hot little hands sends Kale into Hot Wheel heaven. Sadly he will buy a car, think it's the coolest thing ever, and then by the time we get home {from the store} he won't know where it is and will most likely never play with it again. It will go into our giant bin of Hot Wheels and other assorted cars and be kinda of played with but not really appreciated and most likely forgotten. Yuck.

And that's what happened. He found a bin of cars {stinkin marketers in City Market...}, pulled out 2 and carried them around the store. He gave me money for them, opened their packages in the car and when dad came home that night I told Kale to show him what he had gotten at CM and he couldn't remember where they were. One was left in the car....

It frustrated me. He gets an allowance and instead of saving it up, spending it on something meaningful and lasting, he blows it on $1 cars that don't matter to him and he doesn't play with! How do I stop this madness? It's Mark's and my money that we give to him and I'd like to wring his neck when I see him spend it on meaningless stuff. I know there are better things out there to save up and spend his money on. But I don't know how to teach him that since it's his money {even though we gave it to him and it's our hard earned money...}

I was stewing over this fact when I got hit on the head by God.

***insert quick back story***
I finished the book 7 this past week and much of it was on this very thing. What am I doing with what I have been given? I can't and won't go into too much with 7. There's a lot that I'm processing. A lot that's been revealed. A lot that can sound judgmental if I share it without knowing what God is going to do with it in me. So I will wait. But one of the things the author touched on was money and possessions and what am I doing with them.
***back to Kale and the cars***

So I got hit on the head and God showed me how Mark and I are given an "allowance" every two weeks. Mark works diligently and well for this salary but in the end, God is providing for us. Kale does his chores but lets face it...he's either working too hard for the money we're giving him or not working enough...I'm sure at any given moment Mark and I fall into that same category.

With this "allowance" we buy things we need, buy things we don't need but really want, buy "Hot Wheels" that make us feel good for the moment but then are quickly forgotten, and give some of it away to charities, missionaries and our church.

Truthfully I've been justifying my money spending by reminding God {as if He needs reminding} that we give to our church and we give to missions and we give to those in need. And God reminded be {because unlike God, I need constant reminding} that Kale also has money set aside for such things and the issue I was having was with the money that has been set aside for "spending".

The money I have set aside in my bank account for "spending", what am I spending it on?

Am I giving my money to worthless things? To organizations who don't treat people right, value human life, care about my life? Am I throwing it away? Am I being a good steward {stewardship means the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care}?

God has provided in our finances, in our provisions (clothes, food, housing, job etc...), in creation (yes I'm talking about the earth), in time. Am I carefully and responsibly managing what He has entrusted to my care?

Ouch.

No. Certainly not all of it.

So the next step is baby steps to see how I can not buy anymore Hot Wheels and instead use what God has given me for eternal things. Things with value and meaning that moth and rust will not destroy. Eternal treasures.

People.